Afew thoughts on Batman Unlimited: Animal Instincts

Well this nifty little package features a cheap looking toy of some strange robotic animal that also appears to be some sort of featured villain in this DVD release, along with some other dubiously designed animal-bots that appear to be throw-backs to the knock-off transformer toys of my youth, plus superheroes, apparently quite a few superheroes. And Batman.

Of course, And Batman.... this is, after all, Batman Unlimited: Animal Instincts.

So let's get this straight.... A redesigned animated Batman, robo-animals, super villain team-ups and then chuck in Green Arrow and Flash alongside an already present pair of sidekicks and I would guarantee that this feature length cartoon should be written off as a disaster, a shameful toy tie-in or child-centric superhero brand recognition exercise.

I'll humbly admit that I was wrong. I tuned in with low hopes and perhaps for the first twenty minutes could have turned off convinced that I was right and may have been wasting my time. A lot happens quite needlessly, some of my favourite heroes pop in sporting wardrobe choices that the jury are yet to pass judgement on, but thankfully the action is under way, and it rarely lets up.

Villains of an animal based appearance take centre stage to kick off the caper and before you know it we have the good guys all on scene in Gotham. Origin stories, introductions and exposition go hurtling out the window and any real sense of canon is deliberately mishandled and left ambiguous, ripe for discovery as the adventure plays out...

Bruce Wayne knows Oliver Queen is Green Arrow, we have two previous Robins reporting for duty as Nightwing and Red Robin. But this seems to be everyone's first encounter of Penguin and Man-Bat. Flash's secret identity is never even addressed...

All these curious threads and more are dangled like nerd-bait for those that like their continuity to be regimented and follow comic book tradition. Yet the story is never dumbed down at all and it is best enjoyed if you simply strap in and go with the flow.

If it has flaws then they are easily forgotten and happily forgiven as a real sense of fun sits at the forefront of this potentially polarising team-up that somehow seems to go someway to follow up the magnificent Brave and Bold series and meet a high standard against almost impossible odds.

 

Fast, Furious and Fascinating.

The initial hype and excitement has receded and the queues at the multiplex are already moving onto the next blockbuster when I finally allow myself to be dragged along to the latest Fast and Furious film.

And to be honest, the franchise genuinely fascinates me. Particularly the fact that with this many sequels to its name it still guarantees itself a top billing due not just to petrol heads and actions fans, somehow morphing itself into a cinematic event with a global audience that is gripped by the further exploits of these former street-racers whose ongoing antics have taken them further than the initial concept should feasibly allow.

Boiled down to the basics these movies were essentially a testosterone fuelled mix of fast cars, the casting of scantily clad extras to gyrate, jiggle and share the screen when the aforementioned cars were stationary, and some action packed set-pieces to quicken the pulse. This formula was then taken and multiplied, with the inclusion of a ever-growing rotating cast of characters until it flipped the script on a possible future of sketchy sequels with diminishing returns and marked itself as a legitimately bankable franchise with the reemergence of Vin Diesel for the fourth instalment.

It has hardly hit pause since, with the rotating cast being brought together as 'family' for heists and adding additional big-hitting action stars to the mix to create a boiling pot of machismo that trumps the premise of The Expendables fused with the crime-caper team-up of Oceans 11 and it's own sequels. The Rock, Jason Statham, Kurt Russell... I can hardly wait to see who they draft in next time.

I'll admit that my own interest wobbled slightly when scriptwriters have pushed more story rather than just fast-thrills and maybe the London based adventure felt too close to home for me to sufficiently suspend my disbelief, but thankfully Furious 7 remedied this by being so unbelievable that turning off and tuning in was the only option.

The whole thing, from start to finish, was bat-shit crazy. Almost every logical next step in the story was sideswiped in favour of more jaw-dropping preposterousness, fights and fast cars and military operations and so forth, all turbo-charged with barely a toe dipped in reality, it became hilarious in its audacity, but by consistently topping itself in each new scene it had me enthralled.

 

Forget street-racers, criminals and FBI agents, everyone involved in these films have now been granted superpowers and clobber each other in ways that even the Marvel Cinematic Universe would shy away from, the plot structure played just like a 16-bit video game with baddies periodically turning up at the end of level to take a beating and then disappear until the next stage, and the plot holes are more like gaping wormholes, but it doesn't matter, because it's fun. Seriously, I have seen criticism and vitriol poured on superhero movies for inconsistencies and unbelievable circumstances.... think about that for a moment, movies... about superheroes... that do not exist!! But Furious 7 leaps these minor details with a steroid injected stride that carries it to some higher level of action film.

But with the inevitability of another sequel looming large I just don't know where the franchise could go next while it travels on this kind of trajectory.

Or perhaps I do... With the rumour of Jump Street crossing over with Men In Black for an upcoming sequel it seems that this franchise-hopping may be the obvious escalation needed to keep the Furious films from slowing their pace. It is a well used concept in comics and has been seen in video games, but only on rare occasions have these pop-culture mash-ups made it to the big screen, but I'm going to be disappointed if the next chapter in the story does not feature a climactic battle with Dominic Toretto at the wheel of Optimus Prime or Bumblebee. Perhaps a computer hacking angle could be replayed to counter Cyberdine Systems and the apocalyptic rise of Skynet. And the crowning glory of the movie will be Robocop joining the fray as a shining beacon of hope as he rides in to save the day on a majestic mech-unicorn that has been custom fitted with NOS.

 

Having a laugh? Jared Leto's Joker.

As is inevitable in this ever connected society, people giddily sharing, shouting about or snidely remarking on certain 'geekier' developments in the world make it difficult to keep myself from seeing the things that I may not want to see.

Case in point: Suicide Squad.

I relented to my own curiosity and peeked at the first cast photo, just to acquaint myself with the talent on display, I briefly glimpsed the initial morsel of Jared Leto that now seems a red herring with fanboys and theorists clamouring to point out the allusions to The Killing Joke.

But before I even knew I'd have to start avoiding the first full image of Leto's Joker it had been splashed across facebook.

And I don't like it.

I'm not a fool. I'm not gonna simply shoot my mouth off and say it's wrong and gonna be terrible. Geeks have been burned before by exuberant expectation and unfounded ire. We've still got a massive promotional trail to get through, heck, they've gotta start shooting the bloody thing!! And all we have to go on is one out of context image that didn't even hint at any kind of mystery or subtlety.

But I still don't like it. I would at least walk you through what I think are my rational decisions.

Obviously previous big-screen incarnations of The Joker have been about re-envisioning or reinventing something that has already been firm in our memories, from ’66 to ’89 and again in 2008, each new portrayal had to break the mould of the previous and this new version is no exception, so allow me to scrutinise a little further...

The deathly pale, skinny, manic look of a deranged crack addict... I can live with this.

Bright green hair, a single purple glove and either some pimped out teeth or a hygiene problem (possibly even both?)... This could all work, I'll let it slide.

But the one thing that bothers me the most is those tattoos...

 

The grin synonymous with The Joker tattooed down his right forearm, a skull in a jesters hat and repeated Ha Ha Ha over the chest and arm, again it is proved that subtlety definitely was not a consideration for this project. And this is without even mentioning the dubious facial tattoos and other ink that is just about visible without being fully revealed.

Now we could discuss versions of the Joker all day, but in my mind I have never taken his chaotic tendencies to be easily placated long enough to endure multiple tattoo sessions.

This is clearly only casting aspersions but the overall tone seems to paint our new Mr J as a ruthless street thug. To me he looks more like a real-life obsessive Joker fanboy.

And with my imagination running on overdrive here is where I start to piece together my own wish-list of boxes this new DC cinematic universe needs to tick.

What if this isn't the Joker? What if this actually is an obsessive fanboy, a street thug, possibly the chief of operations that is at pains to prove himself to his boss... The real Joker.

Following Heath Ledger's near legendary portrayal I was holding out for a more laconic and brooding spin on the character, a darker and much scarier villain that is less likely to be seen cracking a smile. And with so many indicators pointing towards Frank Miller's Dark Knight Returns as a major inspiration in these next formative stages, the Leto Joker image that we've so far seen feels like a rather ill fit.

Having said all that I have been thoroughly enjoying the way that TV's Gotham has been playing hard and loose with established mythology to create its own world that borrows liberally from what we know and refines it in its own image to defy expectations, and all this fuss created is still based on just one image and not a lot else, I'm curious to see where this will all eventually lead and I'll do my best to keep an open mind until we get there.

 

 

so, who would be a #BetterBatmanThanBenAffleck ?

this article was written for and originally appeared on Faded Glamour



We geeks sure do like to get riled up.

News is delivered to us via the Internet, and then we vent via the Internet, making sure everyone that may be privy to our streams or comments will certainly know exactly what is on our minds.

Ben Affleck is Batman, no different.  I'd seen endless tweets and opinions before I'd even managed to find a legitimate news source to confirm that this wasn't merely wild speculation.

#BetterBatmanThanAffleck was soon trending, animals, emos and slobs all in costume, and memes of Matt Damon filling Robin's hotpants were widespread, but amongst all this, can we have some serious debate?

Although he certainly wouldn't have been my first choice to fill the role, the choice doesn't fill me with horror or nerd-rage, his divisive turn as Marvel's marmite Daredevil seems to be a main sticking point for those against the idea (personally, I liked the film) but memories of Gigli are long gone following star turns in The Town and Argo.  On top of all this, he knows his comics, is friends with Kevin Smith and has a chin that works for a superhero that will have little else on show.

Let us not forget that Michael Keaton had people up in arms when the Beetlejuice star was announced as Tim Burton's vision of Batman in 1989 and any harsh words against Heath Ledger's casting as The Joker following Brokeback Mountain, were soon silenced with his now legendary performance.  But if not Affleck, then who do you seriously want to see in the famous cape and cowl?

Going on the strength of rumours that the upcoming Man Of Steel sequel will draw inspiration from Frank Miller's Dark Knight Returns (Zack Snyder's big reveal of the planned sequel was preceded by a quote from the 1986 comic miniseries) the aspects likely to be used will be that of an older Batman than we have seen on the screen before, possibly coming out of retirement to face off against the Kryptonian, and one hell of a first fight between a mortal man and an immensely powerful alien.

My initial suggestion of Clint Eastwood (now aged 83) was probably pushing the believability of sci-fi and fantasy to its limits, sure he's got the menacing growl and Gran Torino proved he is still not to be messed with, but swinging from rooftops... probably not.  My next name plucked from thin air was Harrison Ford (aged 71) who could easily bring his best brooding to the film, and the latest Indiana Jones flick shows that he has still got an action hero inside him after all these years.

And then I hit upon a genius casting choice that I can't believe hadn't been put forward already, it's time to really rile up the geeks, and bring back George Clooney.

When he first donned the Batsuit he was fresh out of ER, looking to cement his move to the big screen, and got swept up in Joel Schumacher's neon kitsch-fest that was too busy pandering to Arnie and trying to sell toys to be taken seriously, but times have changed, the Bat-nipples are a distant memory and Bane is now considered so much more than just Poison Ivy's moronic piece of muscle.  And what about Clooney?  He got over it, he came out of a bad situation that sunk the Bat-franchise and could have sunk his career, but instead he took on roles that proved his worth with Out Of Sight and Three Kings.

Now, at the ripe old age of 52 (11 years on Affleck) George Clooney still maintains his chiseled features and eligible bachelor status, perfectly suited for a role as aged socialite Bruce Wayne, time and time again on screen he has proved his versatilty and after 15 years, now could be his chance to return back in black and right the wrongs of Batman And Robin.

Time capsule

my holiday read was Skagboys by Irvine Welsh, the wholly unnecessary prequel to Trainspotting which is likely to be soon coming on my ever-expanding, never-ending reading list

and since my girlfriend has left me home alone to go and see a deity's feet I decide to indulge myself with a glass of whisky and coke, central heating on and candles lit as winter draws ever nearer and play Danny Boyle's Trainspotting on the projector

and it takes me back, it is a sign of it's times, of course the music is pivotal to the movie and the soundtrack pinpoints a specific musical and cultural movement that was the halcyon days of 'cool britannia'

but further than than, with passing time and retrospect, I can see Trainspotting as a time capsule, preserving the past for future generations, showing them what once was

smoking in pubs and clubs is a strange one, it seems to be reserved for fiction, even when I see old photos of nights out and friends with fags in hands or mouths, it seems bizarre to me, it seems prehistoric.. do you remember when a night out meant coming home stinking of cigarettes, even if you didn't smoke? when jeans worn the previous evening in a pub needed to go straight in the wash in order to cleanse them of that nicotine stank?

and do you remember when trafalger square was more famous for it's hordes of pigeons than it was for nelson's column? the carpet of grey birds that spread across the landmark sight, the keen business men selling feed and always that one person that would have pigeons resting upon his person as everyone watched and took photos... that too is gone, consigned to the history books and mere memories

but the one thing that truly stood out for me, the one thing above all others that rang the bell of nostalgia as I sat in my cosy home in the future, in the year 2012, watching the 1996 film set in the late 1980s, was the fact that Renton and Spud were chased down after chorring from a John Menzies store

and I think of the John Menzies in Waltham Cross, and how I used to use up pads of lined A4 paper from John Menzies, and how easily it has been surpassed in my mind by the usurping W.H.Smiths

and sometimes it is strange to think of how things were, how they use to be, and how part of growing, and living, and choosing life means that we leave these things behind us



.

Bam! Ka-pow! Pop!

so it has been nearly three weeks since i saw The Dark Knight Rises, and to be honest, it is nearly all that i think about all of the time

perhaps that sounds a little sad, but it was certainly a well crafted movie that really upped the stakes in terms of what is expected of films, superhero movies and trilogies in general

thankfully, there are wonderful things in this digital age that can borrow from pop-culture, mash it up and spit back out something smart and spot on

such as The Dark Knight Rises synopsis summed up pretty neatly to the tune of Carly Rae Jepson's uberhit, Call Me Maybe

i beg of you, i plead of you, if you have not seen the movie yet, please hold out and do not watch this vid!

you have been warned

*MAJOR, MAJOR SPOILERS*

was it worth the weight?

i may or may not have mentioned previously that I have had to frustratingly wait to see The Dark Knight Rises (ok, that is a downright lie, I know I've mentioned it)

and I know that I have previously mentioned what the weight of expectation can do, and how crushing it can be.

(and I think my brother wood appreciate the use of a homophone in the post title)

and since I shared my opinions on Batman Begins to quite a good response, I guess I should take a critical look at The Dark Knight Rises too.

*WARNING PEOPLE -I dare say there may be a few spoilers ahead*

the first thing that struck me about the movie was Bane's voice.

I hated it.

some bizarre autotuned English aristocratic accent that instantly got my back up, I found it incredibly jarring, more-so than Bale's overly gravelly Batman tones on Dark Knight.

I wanted to get up and run away, I didn't know if I could really cope with it.

the Bane I have always imagined was probably greatest informed by the BBC Knightfall radio play, or possibly by my own imagination, and his origin going back to the fictional Santa Prisca in Latin America

Tom Hardy certainly looked imposing, but the voice was preposterous.

of course I didn't turn and flee from the IMAX, even if I hated every moment of the film I would have still sat there and just bitched about how retarded the whole thing was afterwards.

and it was the next scene that really brought the film into focus for me, Bruce Wayne hasn't been living his life as a billionaire playboy in the eight year gap between films, he has been living as a recluse.

And nor is this just a ploy to allow his night time activities to go unnoticed by Wayne's peers and colleagues, Batman has not been seen for eight years either.

I believed that the intervening years would be filled with outlawed heroics as the Dark Knight fought to stay ahead of the cops that would be hunting him down, I believed Batman would still be lurking in the shadows, that there were stories to be told that filled the gaps, that a rogues gallery would have developed over the time that we have not been a witness to.

But this was not the case.

and that was when I realised that this Batman truly belongs to Christopher Nolan, in my opinion piece on Batman Begins I noted the flaws, the inconsistencies that I wished to have seem carried forward from the comics.

but these Batman myths have been raided and then almost wholly disregarded to build a completely new world and a completely new legend.

'my' Batman would not have disappeared for eight years, 'my' Batman would not have given up so easily, but this is Nolan's Batman, and this is Nolan's Bane, funny voice included.

and Nolan's Batman certainly deserves high regard, as the trilogy ties together well and presents a complete story.

The weakness that took Batman to breaking point in Knightfall, the mass breakout of Arkham that had already been pilfered and incorporated into Batman Begins, is instead substituted for eight years of losing his edge, losing everything he had become.

The legend of Rās al Ghūl comes full circle, as do his wishes for the fate of Gotham that I felt was not fully delivered on in Batman Begins, in a far more epic and far more disastrous fashion.

sure the film wasn't perfect, but what film is? even the regarded pinnacle of the trilogy, The Dark Knight, has a number of stumbling points that can be easily exposed if analysed.

but the fact that Nolan made a concluding chapter that didn't let me down is admirable, that he made a film that for the most part sidelines Batman himself in favour of building the story around other supporting characters is a brave move indeed, certainly something that has been many times before in comic book stories, but rarely in a big screen effort that so much is riding on.

and despite initial misgivings and the expectations that I had tried not to give into, when the final credits rolled I had been blown away by what I had seen, an epic final chapter that definitely delivered, a well-rounded world of intriguing characters that borrowed from the comics that I know and love, but refused to treat them as a definitive scripture.

these were the things that went through my mind after just the first viewing, I may revisit my opinions when I inevitably revisit the film, and I may shed light on some spoiler-shaped gripes I have, but I can honestly look back on this trilogy and say I enjoyed it.

well done Christopher Nolan.

what went wrong with Batman Begins?

ever since I first watched it in the cinema, something didn't sit right with me about Batman Begins

it is a film that I have grown to love, but my initial viewing left me feeling rather unconvinced

and now, having just sat through Nolan's first chapter again, I think I may be able to deconstruct exactly where the problems lay.

please, don't get me wrong, I enjoy the film, but it does have certain flaws, we are after all talking about a director that hardly has a reputation for blockbusters, all of a sudden turning his hand to the superhero genre, and any mistakes made on Batman Begins certainly contributed to making The Dark Knight the cinematic benchmark that it is considered.

for a start, the film left me cold for a number of reasons the first time round, I was unsure of Micheal Caine's rather cockney Alfred, plus the film felt rather muddled, terribly unclear, and worst of all, Bruce Wayne's parents were now murdered after a family outing to the opera, and not the Zorro movie that has long inspired Batman's creation in the comics.

for that reason alone I was unsatisfied.

but like I said, with repeated viewings I grew to love the movie, and regard it in higher esteem than I initially had.

and yet, for the sake of critical analysis, let me brake down where it may have gone slightly awry.

there were a handful of cheesy moments, strange superhero swooshes and hammy lines that felt rather out of place in such a serious movie, but it was more than just this

the smallest of niggles that contribute to theses thoughts are mostly grounded in my love of the comics and the perceived history that has been built up around them, for example, Bruce's 30th birthday, when any self respecting geek knows that Batman should have been operating long before the ripe old age of 30!! I shan't bore you with more minor details of this ilk, as I believe the problem truly lies elsewhere.

such as the rather muddled storyline, and a lack of real set-piece villain for Batman to go up against, even after a couple of viewings, I still not entirely sure what was won and wht was lost by the end of the film.

and here is why, the character that this story hinged on the most was at too underdeveloped, and that character was Gotham City itself.

only after repeated viewing have I come to realise this, that Rās intends to bring the city to it's knees, pulling it down to start over again , yet the threat never felt real enough (water dispersed fear toxins and microwave emitting military weapons are hardly the recognised face of terrorism as we know it in the movies) and nor do we care enough about Gotham.

too much time is spent trying to flesh out other details that we never see Gotham for the previously decadent and now corrupt city that we are meant to believe it is, we are briefly told that it is a place of such importance that it's destruction is necessary, but never are we shown clear enough that this is the case.

and even when the high security inmates are busted out of Arkham Asylum in a move ripped straight from Knightfall, we never know the true consequences, because we don't know that much about Arkham and we don't really know who was in there and how dangerous they are.

It is a thoroughly admirable film, yet it does require patience, repeat viewings and more than just a basic grasp of the Batman myths to fully comprehend what exactly is happening.

with that said, it was interesting watching and anticipating what did follow and what is still ahead in The Dark Knight Rises.

certain moments were foreshadowed, other plot developments may have been hinted at, and I wonder what part Rās and the League of Shadows will play.

and is it just me, or did Batman look kinda chubby in his restrictive cowl in Batman Begins?

and so it begins (again)

finally, the date is almost upon me, I have been avoiding tv spots and trailers and keeping myself from social networks and the geeky websites I would usually frequent in order to avoid any foolish spoilers, but soon, very soon, I get to see The Dark Knight Rises at the IMAX

so in preparation, I have been gorging myself on Batman, re-reading my well worn and well loved Knightfall graphic novels yet again, dipping into a Rās Al Ghūl focused Tales Of The Demon graphic novel that I picked up a while ago at Krypton Komics at a bargain price of £3.95.

and tonight, fresh from hosting the Olympic opening ceremony, my projector and living room wall shall tonight be showing Batman Begins while I try and relax myself, possibly with a sailor jerry and coke or possibly a whisky in hand.

I shall be tuning in, same bat time, same bat channel tomorrow for a showing of The Dark Knight.

then finally, yes finally, Thursday I shall be hoping that my expectations have been kept in check and that Nolan has delivered a well rounded trilogy and not tripped at the fine hurdle (obligatory sporting/Olympic anology)

Dark Knight Rising (but not for a while yet, and then some)

how many geeks does it take to bring a website to its knees?

I wish I could tell you, but as one of the many bat-fans that attempted to buy tickets for The Dark Knight Rises' IMAX run at midnight on Sunday, only to be faced with server busy messages and the like, I have no actual idea how many tickets were sold before BFI's website crashed due to the immense demand caused by eager and dedicated fans wanting to see the conclusion of Christopher Nolan's trilogy as it should be, on a massive bloody screen!!

I went to bed at some time past 1am, having been pressing refresh on several tabs on a couple of computers in the hope of bagging myself a ticket.

When I awoke shy of 5 hours later at around 6am, I checked again, only to find the IMAX site had been completely broken, much like Bane broke the back of Bruce Wayne way back in comic history....

at various points through the morning I checked the site again with no luck, attempted calling the booking line with no luck, and even read on the IMAX's Facebook page that to queue in person was taking an hour upwards to guarantee a precious ticket.

.... the good news is that the website eventually recovered, the bad news, by this point all of the prime seats of all of the prime showings had been booked up... leaving me with no choice but to wait nearly two weeks after the initial release to see whether The Dark Knight Rises is crushed under the weight of expectation, and to see just what Christopher Nolan has instore for the culmination of his own take on the Batman franchise

The weight of expectation

I don't tend to do movie reviews

I do however like to have a little moan when something that should be great turns out to be no more than mere trash

Take, for example, Green Lantern, or Watchmen...

and now, also Prometheus

Up until last week, I expected virtually nothing from it at all, I refused to be a sucker for the long, built up hype and viral campaigns, I hadn't bothered to tune into each newly released trailer as they hit the webnets

but the anticipation seemed to be growing around me, I could feel it, almost taste it in the air

I'll admit, having seen the trailer at the flicks, I was intrigued, and then last friday my social networks were filling up with talk of the film, and having already agreed to see it that night with a tribe of non-apologetic geeks, my height of excitement peaked

until I watched the film.

it was flawed. I shan't bother going into its flaws here, suffice to say, it was not what it promised to be, and neither was it what anyone really hoped for.

and now my summer is buckling under the weight of expectation

crushed by the disappointment of Prometheus, I wait with dread for the Dark Knight to Rise...

again, I've acted to avoid too many trailers and tidbits of gossip that have sufficiently proliferated the internet, and yet my own curiosity has occasionally got the better of me

but this isn't The Dark Knight following the modestly performing Batman Begins, even after the tragic loss of Heath Ledger, I don't think that expectations for the sequel were set too high until the film unexpectedly snowballed into critical acclaim and a widespread regard that it is now a benchmark for movies (not even just superhero movies) to measure against

and this leads us to where we are now, Avengers has cleaned up at the box office, Prometheus has shattered dreams, and now the final piece of Christopher Nolan's trilogy must take up the weight of expectation that is being put upon it, not just by geeks and comic book fans, but by... well, pretty much everyone.

Type Writer

I find a certain sense of freedom in writing, the chance to empty my brain, regardless of if anyone bothers to read my outpourings or not.

and my current writings are freer than ever

the last post I wrote on the floor of my spare bedroom, I was in there putting clothes away and the thought struck me to write, so I did

and this post is being beamed into the Internet from on the can, after having just endured watching David Cronenburg's Naked Lunch. it bored me terribly.

perhaps it is films about writers, I didn't much care for Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas either, something about both films (and Hunter S. Thompson's book) just left me feeling cold

but the use of typewriters intrigues me still.... I used to use one when I was younger, it made me feel like a real writer, probably because I was told not to play with it, so I didn't play with it, I wrote with it, and I still have a handful of pages of a Batman story I began writing knocking around somewhere at my mum's house

I have a lot of scribblings, a lot of poems, jotted down on scraps of paper and in A4 paper refill pads, some I may have shared here and there, some will probably remain unearthed for a very long time

and now, in more recent history I have latched onto blogging, taking the time to sit at a computer and publish my thoughts, except that lengths of time away from a computer sometimes leaves nasty gaps in my continued online journal

now, and now I blog with a greater freedom than ever, from my girlfriend's parents sofa, from the spare bedroom floor or from the bathroom

maybe a I shall even have a crack at my next novel on this dandy little gizmo

and maybe it will be better than Naked Lunch and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, or maybe it won't

more musings and hero worship

fanatics, fanboys, geeks.

whatever you want to call them, these are the people that hold art and culture dearest, and these are the people that it is dangerous to mess with.

get it right, and they will continue to sing your praises.

get it wrong, even just a minor mis-step, and some fanboys find it very hard to be forgiving.

this is certainly the case whether it is music geeks, film geeks, or, as proved recently by the 'Before Watchmen' debacle, comic geeks.


and i think the truth behind these issues is that as fans, we want our heroes and our icons to be infallible.


and when we start dealing with sequels, or prequels, or a follow up of some sort, you are running a risk.

you are increasing the chances of a work held in high esteem becoming tainted, or lessened somehow.

there is also the chance that an original premise could be improved upon, but when people have such an emotional investment in these works you are also gambling with people's memories.

we often have our personal reasons for such deep investment, some that go deeper than others, whether it is an album that saw your through a particularly rough patch in your life or reminds you of fond memories, or perhaps it is a film or a story that just connected with you, or opened your eyes to something you had not experienced before.

these are the types of feelings and emotions that people connect to art.

we could be talking about Greedo shooting first in the Star Wars special editions, the introduction of Jar Jar Binks and midichlorians in The Phantom Menace, we could be talking about the movie adaption of The Da Vinci Code or the long-threatened American remake of Akira, it could be Jay-Z's Blueprint 2 (and 3), it could any modern take on an old idea, whether it is the Wicker Man or Star Trek,  and it could be the increasing expectations for Christopher Nolan's final instalment in his Dark Knight trilogy.

and we are most definitely talking about Before Watchmen.

break the internet in half

it was in october of last year that i was starting getting edgy.

i had just heard some bad news.


the article was titled 'the phone call that confirmed Watchmen 2'

and i read it, with fear


a couple of previous posts had talked creative teams involved and it all felt more real.

but Bleeding Cool seemed to be the only place suggesting this, other blogs rubbished the idea as a shock tactic to generate traffic, apparently they had said something similar a couple of years ago and nothing materialised.

one particular quote resonated....

Darwyn Cook, when asked what he was currently working on, answered that he couldn't say, but that it "would break the internet in half"


fast forward

2012

Mayans apparently predict the end of the world

scarily, they may have got it right, as on February 1st, the internet broke in half

straining and cracking under the weight of all the angst and ire generated by geeks around the globe.

the day that DC comics announced their 'Before Watchmen' project.


6 mini-series focusing on the back-stories of individual characters and on the original Minutemen, followed by a one-shot would tie an overbearing story arc together, in addition, there would also be a back-up 'pirate' feature that runs across the issues.

and with a heavy heart, i must admit that this seemed inevitable, much like someone coming along to transfer a favourite comic or book onto the big screen (whoops, they already tried that with Watchmen, didn't they), we must recognise this for the money-making scheme that it is first and foremost.

DC comics, as part of Warner Brothers, is a business, a money hungry destructive business that only has it's sights set on one goal, making more money than it already has.

DC already survived a major shake-up last year when it announced plans to 're-set' a lot of its comic book history, wiping the slate clean for some characters (although not for all) and renumbering all of their issues from number 1 again, this got a lot of fans angry and up in arms about the whole move and the way fans were being treated, yet, when all was said and done, these new issues sold by the ton, reprints of all first issues were needed and the market share was captured.

and we can even look at this now as testing the water, to see how many fans truly did drop off, or how many simply moaned about the whole thing, yet bought regardless, possibly bought more out of curiosity.

if they could do this with DC's main players, the heavy hitters, the whole damn universe, then why would their next target not be Watchmen.

and the geeks have only brought it upon themselves.

there was never going to be a boycott of the new 52, not one that mattered anyway.

and similarly, sales of Before Watchmen will probably be through the roof.

i can't deny, they have brought some top talent on board to handle this rather sensitive subject, and no doubt, these creators will have the utmost respect for Alan Moore's vision, who in comics wouldn't? and when you get that call, asking you to be involved in a massive high-profile project that will no doubt earn you a fair few quid, i'm sure you would rather ride that thing than let the opportunity slip past you, into the hands of someone else that you may not trust with the comic book's rich legacy.  whether any or all of the creative teams involved can do the stories justice will have to wait to be seen.

i'm sure, out of the entire project, that we will see at least a couple of good yarns, heck, they may even pull this thing out the bag without dropping the ball at all.

but that doesn't mean that i'm happy about it.

(but that doesn't mean i'm not curious too)

counting down

ok, we all know what's going down tonight, and we've just about finalised what we're gonna be doing tonight, which isn't much to be honest, but anything to do with New Years Eve must involve a tremendous amount of mucking around so that you can subscribe to the cliche that New Years Eve must be an amazing celebration

and since december is nearly over once again, we must wait another 11 months before it is officially ok to watch Elf again, so let tune into the sweet sounds of Zooey Deschanel teaming up with 500 days of summer co-star Joseph Gordon-Lovett




this video, along with a couple of free mp3s and looks towards 2012 can be found over at my music blog Desperately Seeking Susan Boyle

and i'll see you all on the other side....

have a good one

he's our hero

i've come to that age when you suddenly starting clinging to nostalgic memories, longing for discarded toys and feeling the need to revisit old tv programmes that had you glued to the idiot box in your formative years

this is why you'll find 80s cartoons gracing the t-shirt racks of many highstreet clothes shops, and why you'll find dvd reissues of classic cartoons

now that we have grown up and no longer ask our parents for money, we are invited to spend our disposable income on recapturing our youth, as if we didn't rinse enough of mum and dad's money on merchandise the first time round

and i'll pity anyone that has coughed up for something like the Thundercats box-sets, as a few years ago i got my hands on a video (retro, i know) of the Thundercats movie that he was chucking out, it is essentially the first few episodes cobbled together without any title sequences to break it all up, and it was utterly disapointing

obviously my under-developed brain was more than content with the flimsy stories that usually lead to fighting and a moral ending, i had thundercats wallpaper in my bedroom and oversized Lion-O and Mum-Ra toys that would also keep me entertained for hours on end, sadly, rose tinted memories were blown away by watching the cartoon with a more mature point of view (although i'd love to get my hands back on the toys, just for old times sake)

and now of course we endure barrages of remakes, either on the small screen or in the cinemas

Transformers enraged me, Turtles entertained me, and it is with trepidation that i shall view the new Thundercats cartoon


i've also come to that age where i have had friends over to my house who are younger than me, and looked bemused at mentions of Captain Planet.

guests at a superhero themed party were urged with a message from Captain Planet to recycle their empty bottles and cans in the correct bins

and even with nostalgia on it's side, Captain Planet is still considered something of a joke amongst those that witnessed it first time around


which is why the news that it is currently being considered for a cinematic revival is troubling news indeed.

cos to be quite honest, Captain Planet was shit.


but if Hollywood had the balls to handle the film like this (seriously or not) i'd be a hell of a lot more interested

Don Cheadle is Captain Planet from Don Cheadle

let the campaign start now...

Don Cheadle for the power-crazed Captain Planet

it's the geeking weekend!

not that weekend's hold any real importance to me at all, i shall still have to be in work tomorrow morning for what will be my 6th day working in a row, having juggled days off around so that i can go to my girlfriend's cousin's wedding sangi dance on sunday and to a cricket match on monday

so how do we roll on a friday night?

we flick through the ikea catalogue before watching the rest of the Harry Potter film she fell asleep during on sunday, we then quickly pay a credit card bill and discuss home insurance before sticking on another Harry Potter film that she promptly falls asleep during.

leaving me to finish off reading the last couple of issues of Battle For The Cowl instead of having to watch the same film twice over

i'm not quite sure if i'll get the chance to complete a geeky trinity of Harry Potter, Batman and Doctor Who this weekend, as i've been informed that a friend is coming over for dinner and is insisting that we watch Sex and The City

so i have been given permission to hide away in the bedroom and read comics and i shall have to play ketchup after this Bank Holiday weekend's excitement, and for those that have missed it so far, there is a little web-exclusive prequel to the returning Doctor Who knocking around, which i shall stick

right

about

here



and no matter how emotional the mid-season finale or this prequel may be - i still can't help but wanna laugh out loud everytime i read that:

The Doctor will return in

Let's Kill Hitler

bug hunt

i'm at odds to think of myself as a massive nerd, certainly i display many geeky tendecies that have reared their heads as i have refused to grow up and instead found myself reading comics again

and although it may not be clear to everyone, there are in fact distinct differences between geeks and nerds

i have never attempted to be fluent in Klingon, nor am i a technical computer genius capable of hacking into FBI files for fun, but i am scared that i may be crossing a line this weekend

for on saturday, i shall be taking part in my first ever LARP event

yes, it does sound as if it may be the noise that a red-necked yokel would make in the affirmative, but it actually stands for Live Action Role Play for those of you that have never ever swung around a foam sword in defence of an imaginary realm

something like Dungeons and Dragons crossed with Battle re-enactments..

c'mon, think Role Models and the socially awkard Augie!  yeah, now you're on the right path



well, a couple of my mates are into this kinda thing, and as a lover of a little bit of home-made fancy dress i decided i would actually give this thing a go

i painted up a nerf maverick earlier this year, and have been having a fair crack at getting a second battle-ready without quite so much aid and guidance this time around

i've got my combat fatigues ready too

as instead of medieval, this weekend will have an alien theme as a small unit of us descend upon a not-so-far flung scout hall in the middle of nowhere, for a trade in bio-weapons which will no doubt go extremely awry and possibly feature a couple of gatecrashing xenomorphs



wish me luck

rising

scroll down the page.

what do you see?

right now, at this very specific moment in time, you will be bearing witness to an unholy geeky number of superhero videos and one superhero film review...


and what have i got for you today?


hell yeah! let's balance the whole thing out by bringing you more blooming superhero videos, and of course, when i say balancing out i actually mean that i am tipping us all over into a superhero filled abyss full of home-made Rocketeer costumes, Papercraft X-men and where the memory of Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl still looms large!!

bwa ha ha ha ha ! ! !

ahem, sorry about that...

back on track... obviously the internet is all a-buzz at the minute over any miniscule drip-fed tidbit about Christopher Nolan's third and final Batman flick due in 2012.  Casting details and barely revealed character designs have already sent fans into spasms, and now we have a teaser poster and teaser trailer in order to tease us further

i held off watching it on my computer in favour of actual big screen (hinted at) action and i didn't have to wait long, catching it among the trailers before Harry Potter and The Fully Realised Franchise last night

but for those that have no such issues over size or simply wanna watch it again, here it is



and that is it, it doesn't give away too much other than, it has Batman in it, Gordon will at some point be laid up in hospital being rather mumbly, and Bane will look pretty mean.

we have not even the merest hint of Anne Hathaway's role or appearance as Catwoman that has been bandied about since she joined the cast

i'd love to say i'm excited, but i'm not, not yet anyway.

excitement leads to expectations, and more often than not, expectations lead to disappointment.

i'm already disappointed that they called the film The Dark Knight Rises, being such a cop-out that they should have maybe just called it The Dark Knight 2.  I can imagine movie executives upset that after the success of The Dark Knight, idiotic punters being bombarded with publicity may not be able to understand that this film is the sequal if it had anything other than the words The, Dark and Knight in the title.

some considered it a brave decision to not include the word 'Batman' in the title of a Batman film, worked out ok by the looks of things, but now we are denied a opportunity of a real title for the third installment.  a shame.

and Bane?

i am completely apprehensive about his inclusion, obviously comic book readers are aware of his pivotal role in the Batman titles from the 90s which was somewhat lost in translation completely when he appeared as a muscle-bound goon following Uma Thurman's Poison Ivy in the ill-fated 1997 flick.

whilst some fans are hoping for this Knightfall arc to come across in The Dark Knight Rises, i can't help but think it would be the wrong idea, as much as i would love to see Bane redeemed in the eyes of the movie-going public, the thought drawing upon this story where bane masterminded a mass break out from Arkham, undoing Batman's life work, and weaving it into what are presumably Batman's early years just seems like a huge mis-step.

i'm certain we won't see any back breaking or a replacement Dark Knight in a film that should be tieing everything together, so is Bane the best choice over the earlier reported Killer Croc or the lesser known Amygdala (since we have already seen the barely known Mr Zsasz, albeit briefly, in Begins) or even bringing the sadistic Zsasz back to make the stories cyclical.

if Nolan can turn in a decent tale, and re-imagine Bane and Catwoman in the same way he has reinvented Two-face and The Joker than there will be nothing to fear, but with the The Dark Knight Rises not even due until next summer, we have a years worth of waiting until we find out for sure.

too soon for another Green Lantern blog post?

in fact, is it too soon to just lazily knock up another video embed as a blog post?

aaaah, maybe i'll write something tomorrow...