like a detuned radio...

It's more than FOMO.

It's kind of like a deeper longer that anchors my soul and swells in the depth of my stomach.

And it seems slightly ridiculous as I try to put this feeling into some sort of coherent and relatable piece of writing, but being unable to see Radiohead at Glastonbury last Friday was almost too much to bear.

Is it love?  Is it obsession?  Or is it just one band among a small handful that I am determined to see live, yet I am still to tick off my bucket list?

And as I think about my own memories of the band that re-listening to a handful has dug up, I must admit that it is something like a combination of all three.

Of the Nineties indie titans that dominated airwaves in my pre-gig-going days, I have seen Oasis multiple times, I saw Blur at a reunion show in Hyde Park in 2009 and I finally witnessed Manic Street Preachers at Festival No. 6 four years ago.  Pulp have so far eluded me, as have Radiohead.

But Radiohead fit awkwardly in this bracket, in much the same way they fit awkwardly in any bracket.  In much the same way many of us in life find ourselves fitting awkwardly into social situations or circumstances.  In much the same way that many of us look towards something to identify with, or lose ourselves in when we find ourselves fitting awkwardly into this so called life.

Are we all creeps?  Are we all weirdos?  Certainly in the long-ago time of 'before we all carried the Internet everywhere we go', it was a far simpler thing to feel alone, and feel that we didn't belong here, and to take solace in music, particularly in our teenage years.  I distinctly remember picking up my copy of The Bends reduced in a branch of Blockbuster Video and always skipping back to the beginning of Street Spirit (Fade Out) several times once the album had reached its end, I'm fairly certain that my copy of OK Computer came from a Cash Converters, and I remember becoming so obsessed with Kid A (bought new upon release for a change) that I even insisted on listening to it in the car when my mum picked me up and dropped me off from my first weekend job.

And it was to be Kid A that proved to be the turning point for me, arriving in my life at a time when my teenage quest for identity reached the cross-section with outgrowing mainstream commercial music, I would listen to the album on repeat, fixated on the vast palette of challenging sonics that proved to be jarring and completely removed from all other music, yet I felt like I belonged to this album, lost in the waves of aural complexities.  Melody Maker may have told me that everybody is obsessed with Radiohead when I started reading it, but right then, I was the only person obsessed with Radiohead.

Of course my eyes would open to their place in the wider world over the years that followed, but I'd already had my moment that shaped my taste for the different.  And over the years that followed I have empathised with Radiohead's own pursuit of being different.  The girlfriend that is now my wife delved into music exploration headfirst with me, and when we pulled up at a traffic lights beside rude bois blasting their bass-rattling whatever it was, we decided to wind down the windows and turn up OK Computer as loud as we could.

And it was OK Computer that I played on repeat walking to and from work in the weeks running up to this year's Glastonbury Festival, hearing past the edge in the music that has always caught my attention and focusing more and more intently on the bereft lyrics as they swam around my head.  Taking ahold of the words and feeling the true sense of them that I couldn't ten or fifteen years ago.  Even on days when temperatures soared not the 30s I pressed play time and time again on the album now celebrating its 20th anniversary instead of the far more apt reggae appropriation of Radiodread by Easy Star All-Stars

Beyond that, I have dipped in and out of the more recent albums over the past decade, but always felt emboldened by the decisions the band have made to make music, play music and release music on their own terms.

And that it why, when my tellyhead wife settled in for a weekend of Glastonbury coverage, I just couldn't bring myself to watch Radiohead's headline performance.  It was too painful for me to sit on a comfortable sofa in a space so far removed from the live performance and watch a band that I am still desperate to witness first-hand.  Because this isn't just another 'play the hits' band that you're assured will tick all the boxes with every show they play, this is a band that have evolved and changed not just the face of music, but also my own personal preferences.

And it was my personal preference to walk away from the to coverage, for that one night at least.


And I will see Radiohead, obviously on their terms and not mine, as they have already proved recently by playing the Roundhouse in Camden in support of A Moon Shaped Pool, and announcing arena dates in Manchester yet no arena shows for London this time around.  And obviously by rolling up at a Glastonbury that I was unable to get tickets for.

And I'll hang in there, with the rest of the creeps and the weirdos.

And I promise not to be annoyed if they don't play Creep, after all, it will be on their terms and not mine.

That Glasto Feeling

We're less than a week away and i know i won't be able to escape the Glastonbury coverage.

the live coverage, the rumours, the weather forecasts, all of it on my frequented websites, tv channels, radio stations and social networks. 

we're less than a week away and already i'm overwhelmingly missing that Glastonbury feeling. 

it's there in the warm weather and the ever-present threat of rain storms just around the corner. 

it's there in the lighter evenings and the prolonged enjoyment of alcohol in the company of friends. 

it's there in the smells wafting from food market stalls scattered on the streets and the bbqs in numerous gardens. 

it's there. any time a like minded group of people come together. 

it's there. in the traffic queues approaching Worthy Farm. in the trek from the car, laden with tents, backpacks and your chosen tipple. in The Park, or at the top of the field looking down towards the Pyramid Stage. 

it's everywhere. and yet sometimes it feels like it is nowhere to be found.

was it there when Brexit campaigning split the country? was it there when Donald Trump became President Elect? was it there throughout the UK's latest election?

is it here as this country picks up the pieces after the dreadful scenes played out at Grenfell Tower, as we scrutinise the cost cutting measures and safety failings, as we count the true cost, now that families and lives have been torn apart.

we're united in grief, but we're still divided - us and them.

i sometimes have to turn my back on the news.  too heartbreaking to bear or too real to comprehend.  

but sometimes news can be good news.  

sometimes bad news can result in good news.

and the recent, heartbreakingly sad, anniversary of the murder of Jo Cox being marked by a campaign of Great Get Togethers is a perfect antidote to bad news, turning a negative into a positive, using the power of human spirit to conquer grief and sadness.

as a population on our island, and as a shared human race, we are a very long way from 'getting together'.

but for one weekend, in a number of farmer's fields in Pilton, we are one.

Whether we are there slipping and sliding in the mud or enjoying (or missing) it from the comfort of our sofas, whether we are holding on to our well-earned position for the Pyramid Stage headliners against the will of our bladders, cherishing time with young families in the Kids Field or drinking ourselves into a cider-fuelled oblivion, whether we are asleep by midnight or up until sunrise in a far flung field losing our minds through legal or illegal means or simply through sleep deprivation.

I miss all of that.

I'm overwhelmingly missing that Glastonbury feeling yet again.

but it is comforting to know that in that microcosm of liberal and like minded society that will be congregating this weekend without me, whether they know it or not, these words of Jo Cox will be ringing true...

'We are far more united and have far more in common than that which divides us'

from the many, varied, dance tents, to the headliners, stage openers and weird and wonderful performers and revellers that make this one weekend as glorious and unique as the human spirit, never a truer sentence has ever been spoken...

and that is the Glastonbury feeling....

waiting

here we go again

my virtual micro-festival weekend

what a truly wonderful weekend it has been, so wonderful that it even managed to distract me from the fact that I had turned almost thirty.

I received some wonderful gifts, mostly Batman related, some I had asked for and others that I hadn't, surely testament to how well people know me (or how my geeky reputation precedes me).

and of course, it isn't all about gifts, indeed, how shallow life would be if it was... I am also grateful that I got to spend the weekend with a bunch of great people that dropped round my house for what was intended to be a micro-festival in my backgarden but I couldn't be bothered to make a huge amount of effort for, so was more like a standard houseparty except there was a tent pitched, a couple of acoustic guitars knocking around and a miniature drum kit set up.

perhaps next year I shall arrange a small P.A system and a brief running order of performers (I doubt it tho) but with drinks flowing, some good music, a go on singstar, a couple of jam sessions in the front room, acoustic singalongs and a Batman cake (given as a present) I must admit I wouldn't have changed it at all.

i was surprised and relieved to wake up (quite late) on Sunday morning and still feel vaguely human, after drinking a combination of cocktails mixed by my girlfriend over lunch, Pimms punch (a present from my mum) throughout the afternoon, vodka and cokes (a Morrison's savers vodka, not the Jamie Hewlett designed bottle of Absolut that my girlfriend had bought as a present) throughout the evening and Sailor Jerry and cokes (yet another present that had been bought for me that day) into the early hours of the morning, I am thankful that I was still in control of my senses and my stomach lining.

with a slightly sore head and a dry mouth, sudden and brief downpours and the sound of music drifting into the house from my next door neighbours shed/boom-boom-room, it felt almost as if we were waking up at Glastonbury

and the festival vibe was far from over, deciding that we were up to it and that the weather may hold out (although, of course we took waterproofs) we headed out to check out the opening weekend of the London Pleasure Gardens at Poontang Dock, taking in the views of the Thames Barrier park before venturing into the new festival site, not exactly knowing what to expect...

and it was certainly unexpected, within a few minutes of arriving we had gazed upon art instillations, watched a colliery band cover Kanye West and witnessed stilt walkers twirling flags.

with no real agenda of what we wanted to see or do, we found ourselves watching eighties one hit wonders Musical Youth, joining in a hokey cokey world record attempt, and finally experiencing the surreal genius of Glastonbury legend, Woody Bop Muddy.

we even bought a Disney Christmas record from a charity stall before hopping back on the DLR and heading back homewards, where me and my girlfriend made splendidly low maintenance meals, drank hot choc, ate cake and watched half of an actually funny rom-com.

and as the weekend drew to a more than satisfactory close, I kept my eyes open long enough to take in the first chapter of 'The Court Of Owls' (thanks Mike)

today

today i should have been woken by a rather stupidly early alarm after holding down discussions as to when Sel would be round to pick me up

it wouldn't have really mattered as the build up of excitement would have kept me awake and the momentum of the day would have kept me going until i finally retired to our tent in a field in Sommerset amidst the familiar smells of camp fires and bbqs



but not today

sadly, this is the first year that we have taken the decision not to go to Glastonbury



it wasn't a decision any of us took lightly, but after failing to actually get hold of tickets at the very first hurdle we were distraught, but slowly came to accept that perhaps 2011 just wasn't gonna be our year

it all seemed perhaps for the best, me and my girlfriend had bought a house and, useful as the deposit scheme is, it would all come at the wrong time, and as the ticket price has increased eash year, we would have struggled slightly with it leaving our now-joint account

and Sel was planning on doing some travelling this year and would be paying out a lot for that

we then took into account that, since they had split up, a couple of friends that we usually camp with would not be going this year, neither would their friend, and another couple that have joined us the past few years didn't manage to get tickets either

last year's Glastonbury, bathed in glorious sunshine for the whole time was a perfect way to leave it, we'd witnessed floods in our times going and we have had one particular wet and miserable weekend that nearly drove us to the edge of sanity (and led me and my girlfriend to give Benicassim a go)

but it felt like those years that we had stuck with the festival had really paid off, as 2010 saw us camped with more friends than we ever have before, we didn't have to suffer a single drop of rain, and the intense sunshine changed the whole dynamic of the usually soggy Sommerset bash

the temperature was up, high spirits were soaring and every single person battled dehydration as we rejoiced, caught up in the giddy throes of a laid back, serotonin enriched festival that England so rarely witnesses

so we bowed out on a high!


i know coverage shall be hard to avoid, and i've cringed everytime there is even so much of a mention of this year's glasto, completelly racked with jealousy and sentimentality for the good ol' days

i've tried to ignore the innevitable stage line-up reveals, and tried telling myself that Beyonce, Coldplay and U2 won't be much of a line-up anyway

but Glastonbury is so much more than just the headliners, and it is so much more than just the music.


my memories of times, good and the bad, at Glasto are innumerable, but i shall have to leave it to all of this years ticket holders to create their own unique take on Glastonbury 2011 as i sit at a desk typing out this blog, considering putting the tent up in our garden, instead of being sat in a car filled to bursting with all our kit, eagerly awaiting the sight of Stone Henge and the requisite stop-off at Countess Services

paying (part 2)

and after the disappointment of M.I.A earlier in the week, to say that i was apprehensive about seeing Gorillaz at the o2 arena was a massive understatement.

even before the Maya debacle i was kinda concerned about how thing would turn out since past experience didn't exactly bode well for it.

i'd already documented my feelings about Blur's massive Hyde Park gigs and i was unimpressed with Gorillaz' drafted in headline slot at Glastonbury earlier this year, it was shambolic and rambling and lacked any real energy, when you combine this with the fact that i knew Flaming Lips would be much more entertaining over on the other stage, we reached the conclusion that we wouldn't bother to stick around to see if the Gorillaz set got any better

and i guess that brings the story pretty much up to date, with me spending the months since Glastonbury wondering if it could have been some hokum Damon Albarn curse that had been put upon me, i love virtually all the music the man touches, but so far 2 out of 3 live performances had disappointed me (with the exception being The Good, The Bad and The Queen in Victoria Park)

thankfully my misgivings were misplaced and i hadn't felt like i had thrown all of my money away in one week, virtually from the outset it was obvious that this would surpass the shoddy performance from the summer, there was a build up of genuine anticipation as opposed to the mix of curiosity and high hopes that flooded the fields of Glastonbury, and even tho we were on very familiar ground, with the similar starts to the set and a repetition of the same animation sequences we had already seen, it still didn't feel like we had seen this live show before, if anything it felt that glasto was the dress rehearsal and this was the real deal that we had been looking forward to

for a start, Damon Albarn was a lot more (for want of a better word) animated, actually taking to the stage and bounding among the performers instead of hiding behind his keyboards towards the back of the stage and trying to orchestrate a star spangled extravaganza, onstage at the o2 arena you could believe that he was truly involved in the project and followed this belief through by acting like a part-time lead singer between the expected guestspots

another fault i levelled at Glastonbury was the stop/start nature of the entire headline slot, lacking cohesion and causing immense boredom when the Pyramid Stage crowd were frequently met with silence, and this problem has been ironed out, leaving us with a perfectly flowing performance, all tied together with slick animation asides and always eyecatching backdrop videos throughout, creating one of the ultimate audio-visual experiences possible

not every guest performer was there with them, but this was inconsequential when considering the performers they had still managed to pull together and pull off without making the night feel like a charity fundraising gala show, it still felt celebrational but far from trite, the mood onstage was joyous and the crowd reaction was equally as enjoyable.

so, second time around Damon actually managed to steer a smooth course towards Plastic Beach, transferring the atmospheric album onto stage with a crew of veteran musicians, world spanning guests and a smattering of new blood, creating an almost perfect vehicle for his fictional bands career to date and at the same time making me a very pleased punter.

money well spent indeed.

 Gorillaz - Empire Ants (feat. Little Dragon) 

the lack of a Glastonbury gallery 2010

this year's Glastonbury was too hot for creative thinking

that is the reason that i do not have much in the way of visual evidence to share on my blog

what i do have for my own personal memories are some great snapshots of great times spent with great people


and as we managed to make it back in good time this year i have spent a good length of afternoon just chilling, dozing off, drinking milkshake, enjoying a real wash with something other than baby wipes, finishing reading the Superman 'One Year Later' story, starting reading The Beach, and uploading my photos.

but i won't starve you of visual stimulation entirely...

jigga what?

quick, change the subject

cos no-one wants to click onto a website and only have an out of date plug for an event that has been and gone

maybe i should have scheduled a post go up up early this morning but i didn't have the time and wasn't realy sure what to post up anyway

so as i was racking my brains i remembered that my original intention after coming back from this years Glastonbury was to do a Glasto themed week

so i thought i'd hark back to that and feature the video that introduced Jay-Z to the pyramid stage in 2008 that BBC viewers would not have seen, it's more like a barrage of clips than a montage and played on the 'controversy' of Jay-Z as a mainstage headliner, tho i do think the video was slightly underhand in implying that a difference of opinion was verging on being a race war




well done to DJ Yoda too, who was doing his bit for the environment, by recycling the above video and using it as his own intro for his audio/visual mash-up set in the dance village this year, simply inserting his own moniker to replace all mention of Jay-Z in his usual cut and paste fashion

Do I Know You??

or more importantly, do you know them?




these two pictures are taken from a memory card found at Glastonbury festival last week, i was gonna be a good citizen and hand it in but i thought that if the person who lost it hadn't realised or didn't think to reclaim it it could be stuck in a deep dank lost property bin for eternity.

i thought that it would be more interesting to load them up to the internet, to my blog and to orphan photos where the photos can remain forever and stand more chance of being reunited with their owner.

i expected plenty of crazy Glastonbury pics to be on there, fond memories that would be sorely missed, instead there were only two pics of a couple of geezers (no offence).

but either way, if you recognise them, or you are one of them, get in touch with a comment or message me through myspace and i shall return the memory card


the only other image that looked like it had been saved to the card was of two kids, again, if you recognise em, get in touch

Glastonbury

ok, so i've been back home since Monday afternoon, but i've been trying my best to avoid returning back to normal life, which has meant very little time spent on the internet (phew), and as a byproduct, absolutely no blog posts

so i'm throwing myself back into it with a breif recap of Glasto '09 but i won't bore you with a lengthy review or any of that nonsense (other people get paid to do that, and it seems too much like hard work for me right now), instead i'll treat you to afew of my favourite images i captured this year