a destructive force

be  fearful of anything left too long in my presence

it is likely to break

computer hard drives must shudder in their shells when i walk in a room, shitting giga-bricks cos of my reputation

my current computer situation is that the microphone input won't work and hasn't for a long while, the CD tray has given up opening, the mouse isn't actually sure whether it is connected or not most of the time, i-tunes will only open half of the times i want it to and web pages seem to need constant stopping and refreshing in order to try and get anywhere.

despite this i will keep trying to be as equally creative as i am destructive by experimenting and producing music on my weary machine

other computers that i have regular contact with seem to suffer fits and spasms and memory loss

only one CD tray on my 3CD changer stereo actually works, and sometimes even that is close to death and needs a good smack to get it sorted again

the radio in the bathroom tends to leave semi-regular gaps of silence during FM transmissions

a long suffering video player flickered its last a handfull of months ago, before this it had been prone to turning most films into black and white movies at any given moment


and yesterday, my bicycle that i rely on to get from A to B was struck down with a gash in the back tyre, so that it was pissing the magical self-healing green gunk from the inner tube as the wheel spun round and round and was soon flat, leaving me with a walk of shame
i am currently trying to attract punctuality, wealth and a moderately priced house to myself through positive thinking, but i can't help but think that things will continue to go wrong and that i will have to keep struggling through no matter how many times i focus my mind on computers that actually do what you want them to and 3 bedroom houses with a south facing gardens.

this isn't a declaration of negativity, this is an acceptance that things won't be hunky dory all of the bloody time - the world just isn't like that